Amends Behind the Scenes
by Metisse
Summary: Follows Alex's thoughts throughout Amends. BAish.


**Disclaimer: Dick Wolf owns everything, I own nothing.**

_A/N: Following Alex and her thoughts through Amends_

Kevin Quinn. Upon hearing his name, Alex felt a chill go through her. "He was my husband's partner...the night he was murdered," she replied when Ross asked her if she knew him.

Everything happened rather quickly after that. The ER doctor sadly informed them that Quinn didn't make it. Bobby showed up ready to come back to work despite having two weeks of personal time left to take. She felt so guilty when she called him but she knew he would have wanted to be involved in this and it turned out she was right.

After she, Bobby and Captain Ross questioned Quinn's partner Detective Copa, Alex glanced out into the hall and saw a familiar face. Suddenly time slowed considerably as she called out to the woman. "Theresa!"

Theresa Quinn, Kevin's widow, stopped and turned to look over at her. Alex saw herself reflected in the woman's tear filled eyes. Her heart ached. Physically ached. She raised her hand in greeting, but Theresa turned away and was led in to see the body of her husband. Alex stood there for a few moments as memories of another ER visit years ago when she was the grieving widow came flooding back to her. Back then, she was the one with tears in her eyes and Theresa was the one offering comfort.

The sound of Ross clearing his throat brought her back to the present. Turning to face her partner and her captain, she managed to maintain her composure. She noticed Bobby was watching her. He was probably watching her the entire time. Why did he have to be so damn perceptive?

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She understood why Bobby didn't want to come in with her but she still missed having him by her side. When she walked into the house, she saw the Chief of D's look at her and then behind her to see if Bobby was there. He looked back at her and nodded curtly then returned to the conversation he was having. A few familiar faces nodded at her in greeting but no one approached her. Apparently she wasn't very popular either.

Alex looked around for Theresa but didn't see her in the living room. She was about to go look for her when she saw the picture. There they were. Joe and her and Kevin and Theresa on St. Patrick's Day all those years ago. _God, was I ever that young? We were so happy then. I was so happy. _

She felt someone take her arm and turned to see Theresa looking over her shoulder. They both looked at the picture and reminisced of those happier times. Theresa began to cry and Alex hugged her and offered her comfort as memories once again came flooding back to her.

Theresa pulled back after a moment and looked at Alex with tear filled eyes. "Is it true? Did your partner let Kevin's killer go free?"

Alex took a deep breath to brace herself. She knew this wasn't going to be easy.

"No, my partner didn't let Kevin's killer go free. We don't know who killed him, Theresa."

"But...Pete said he identified the man. Why would he lie?" Theresa asked, her voice taking on a bitter tone.

"He didn't lie. He made a mistake," Alex said, looking her friend in the eye.

Theresa shook her head. "He was there! Maybe your partner made a mistake."

"My partner didn't make a mistake. Pete couldn't have identified the shooter because he..." Alex began.

"The Chief told me things about your partner..."

"The Chief is wrong." Alex looked at Theresa directly in the eye and remained unflinching in her defense of her partner. She was livid inside as she thought of what the Chief might have said about Bobby.

"Then who killed him, Alex? Where is he and why is he still out there living his life while...while Kevin..." Theresa's voice faltered.

Alex hugged Theresa once again. "We'll find the guy who really did this, Theresa. We will."

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At some early hour of the morning her phone rang. Mumbling curses under her breath she checked the caller ID and saw it was Ross.

"Eames," she answered a little curtly.

_"Sorry to disturb you so early, detective, but we have another shooting. Same MO as with Quinn." Ross informed her._

She got more details from the captain and then called Bobby.

When they arrived at the crime scene, Alex found the past once again creeping up on her. The victim was Alfred Minaya, the drug dealer who testified against Delgado, the man who shot her husband.

Bobby was looking at her with that intense gaze of his again. She wanted to snap at him but she knew he was just worried. If she were him she would be worried, too. _Funny how things turned around here. _

Back at 1PP Ross called her into the office - alone. Bobby watched her head into the office and began to pace nervously. _At least some things haven't changed. _

Fortunately, she managed to convince Ross that it would be all right for her to continue on the case. She knew Bobby wouldn't handle it well if Ross made him work with someone else to finish this up.

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Questioning Delgado was incredibly stressful. Even after all this time the scumbag kept denying he shot Joe. He had the nerve to look her in the eye and tell her he was innocent. She only half heard what Bobby was saying to the man. At one point she almost lost it. She let Bobby finish the interview as she silently fumed.

Whenever they argued, she never got angry at Bobby. She got frustrated and they sometimes sounded like they were angry with each other but they weren't. This time, however she felt herself getting angry. Really angry. _He just doesn't understand. He doesn't know what kind of man Delgado really is. _

Fortunately, he dropped the subject and didn't push it any further. She thought the matter was closed until she walked into the conference room he had commandeered upon their return to 1PP. She felt her heart stop for a second as she recognized photos from the crime scene. Newspaper articles about the murder. _Oh God, how could he do this? Why is he doing this? This is my life he's dissecting! _

She knew he was right. Despite what she said to him, she knew he was right.

"You know we have to do this," he said. Despite all the pain and the horrible realization that perhaps Delgado really was innocent, Alex managed to hang on to her self-control. He was right. They had to do this.

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If she thought it took the man a long time to _not _find the evidence box the first time, it was even longer the second time around. Alex didn't know what she would do if officer Noble returned without it again. Bobby had pressured him into doing a more thorough search but he was off chasing the results from ballistics. Fortunately, the box was retrieved without further complications and she was left alone to deal with the memories and emotions that went along with it.

The first thing she pulled out was Joe's blood stained shirt. She felt an ache shoot through her entire body. As she looked at it she held it to her face and despite eight years of being kept in storage she could still catch the faint smell of his aftershave mixed in with the musty smell of the old cardboard box. There was also the sickening scent of blood. She let out a small whimper as she sank down into the chair, overcome with the sadness and loss as it if it were just yesterday that she lost something so precious and dear to her.

Taking a deep breath she steadied herself. _We have to do this. I have to do this. _ She laid the shirt on the table and smoothed it out. Reaching into the box once more, she retrieved the evidence bag containing the cigarette butt. _If this proves Delgado is innocent...all those years of hating him for something he might not have done... _She closed her eyes and fought back more tears.

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How much worse was this case going to get? Delgado's son killed Kevin and Minaya out of a warped sense of justice. At age eighteen, Victor Delgado's life was effectively over. Alex watched as the young boy was led away. She felt numb. How many more lives would be ruined by one man's actions all those years ago? _If Ray Delgado turns out to be innocent of this crime... No, Delgado is guilty. He has to be. The DNA will prove it. _

Before she began the paperwork to close this case, Alex made a call to Theresa Quinn to tell her the news. She wanted to be the one to tell her. Despite their strained conversation and the awkward way things ended the last time they spoke, Alex felt an obligation to Theresa. She especially wanted Theresa to know that Bobby was the one responsible for catching the real killer. She suspected the Chief of D's might put his own spin on it if he told her first.

Theresa was grateful for Alex's call and promised to call her if she needed anything. Somehow, Alex knew that wouldn't happen. She wasn't part of Theresa Quinn's circle of support any more. She wondered if Theresa would find herself isolated from that circle as time moved on.

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Delgado didn't do it. Neither did Minaya. _This is a nightmare. Whoever shot Joe is still out there..._ Bobby was right. Alex was on the verge of tears once more. She hated feeling like this. She was off balance and uncertain of what she thought was true.

They headed back to 1PP in silence. Bobby kept glancing over at Alex but said nothing. Alex knew he was watching her but couldn't bring herself to say anything to reassure him that she was all right because she wasn't. Her mind kept trying to process and accept the fact that Delgado didn't kill Joe. _Then who killed Joe? How could this have happened? _

"We should check out Minaya's associates. See who he was covering for that night," Bobby said softly.

Alex nodded as she pulled into a parking space at 1PP. "Ross might want to pull me from this case at this point."

"I'll talk to the captain while you check on Minaya's associates," Bobby offered as they made their way to the elevators.

"You'll talk to Ross? And how do you think that will be helpful?" Alex knew Bobby and the captain seemed to be getting along better since he returned to work on this case but she knew how quickly that could change. Both men didn't react very well to being challenged.

Bobby smiled. "I promise I won't yell at him or anything."

Alex sighed. "Well, I don't see how you could make it worse even if you did. He only let me stay on Kevin's case because I insisted it wasn't connected to Joe's and we already know that part's not true."

"We'll see," Bobby said as they stepped into the elevator.

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When Ross said nothing about having her removed from the case, Alex was surprised. He sent them on their way to question one of Minaya's former associates who was out on parole.

The day proved to be incredibly stressful for Alex. Minaya's former associate led them back to Minaya's family. Minaya's family led them to the hospital Kevin Quinn was taken to after he had been shot and to the same young doctor who had tried to save his life.

As they pulled into the hospital parking lot, Alex felt the knot in her stomach tighten. _This can't be happening. _

When she didn't get out of the SUV right away, Bobby looked at her with concern. "Eames?"

"Sorry, I was just...never mind." She got out and fell into step with her partner.

As they approached the hospital entrance, Bobby stopped and gently placed a hand on her arm.

Pulled from her thoughts, Alex looked up at him and saw the concern in his eyes. She nodded at him. "I'm all right," she said simply. As she said it, she felt the knot in her stomach slowly loosen and disappear.

Bobby looked at her for a few more seconds and nodded as they continued on into the hospital.

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It was amazing how removed she felt as they questioned Dr. Beltran, the man who murdered her husband. When he confessed she felt numb. _This is the man who killed Joe. The same man who worked so hard to save Kevin Quinn's life. _ Eight years ago she remembered the anger and pain she felt when facing Delgado in court. Because of one man's mistake and failure to own up to it, so many tragedies ensued.

Back at 1PP, Alex and Bobby sat at their desks working on their reports and crossing all their t's and dotting all their i's. Ross wanted to make sure everything was in proper order. Bobby and Alex both wanted to make sure there was nothing questionable that might get either themselves or their captain in trouble.

"Didn't Ross say anything about taking me off this case?" Alex asked after almost thirty minutes of silence.

Bobby nodded while still working on his report. "He did, actually," he said as he continued writing.

"So why didn't he?"

After a moment Bobby finally looked up at her. "I promised to keep an eye on you."

Alex blinked in surprise and then rewarded him with a small smile. This case brought up all kinds of painful memories and reminded her so much of her loss and the unexpected path her life had taken. However, at this moment, it also reminded her that she wasn't really alone and hadn't been for quite some time.

** The End**


End file.
